"Lusamine’s TOTALLY original
Once upon a time, Lusamine was tasked with coming up with the next idea to kill the Frocky Whee Heads. She thought long and hard, but had no original ideas. The only thought she had was to get high on baked beans. She did just that, and it came to her. “REE I SHOULD PUT AN ULTRA BEAST ON MY HEAD AGAIN I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!!”. She went to the Altar of the misspelling of Sun or Moon and screeched Parlor Swipple’s new song, “ree I peed myself while wearing N’s pants”, and the Ultra Wormhole, even though it wasn’t a living thing, hated the song so much that it let her in. She screeched as loud as possible until she ended up in a big white wormhole. She went in to see a tunnel with a guy next to it. “Hey there uh there’s a giant mouth dragon thing eating our planet out there be careful or something I guess” he said. She stuffed his ears full of baked beans and went through the tunnel. She approached Guzzlord who she saw immediately as she entered. “DORP GUZMALORD I PUT YOU ON MY HEAD” she screamed. It ate her, but then it turned white and got Lusamine hair and eyes, and she returned to the ultra wormhole as a guzzlord. Meanwhile, Pika, Gladion, Primal, and Hau were bullying a Josh Kool dupe. They stuffed various things in to his ears, eyes, and throat, such as Baked Beans, Malasadas, Bombs, Parlor Swipple Albums, N, and Rocks. He’d scream “FUC YOU ALL FUCING FUCHEADS I HOPE TRUCK FIZZ OVER RUN TOO YOU GUYS YOU FUCING NERDS!!11!1!1!1!1” but it didn’t help. But they stopped when they saw Lusamine, who was fused with a Guzzlord, staring at them. She expected them to run, but they didn’t. “Is something up with Lusamine?” Primal asked. They all stared until Gladion broke the silence by saying “I think she looks a bit more like a Guzzlord than usual.” They all agreed on this. They took Josh Kool, walked up to Lusamine, and threw Josh Kool in to her mouth. She ate him, as she was too stupid to tell the difference between an internet troll and a baked bean. She charged forwards in an attempt to eat the Frocky Whee heads, but they moved out of the way, and she instead ate N who had climbed out of Josh Kool’s ear before he was eaten. Suddenly, the Guzzlord underwent a sudden transformation. It retained it’s shape, but it had hair that was a combination of Lusamine’s, N’s, and Josh Kool’s. It had eyes the color of lamehead as well as Parlor Swipple albums instead of eyebrows. It’s color was pee yellow. “rEEeeeEeeeEeeeEeeEeeEeEeeEEeEeEeEeeEEeE FUC YOU ALL YOU’RE ALL DORP I’M MARRYING PARLOR SWIPPLE AND PUTTING A NIHLEGO ON MY HEAD” it screamed. “What does that even mean..?” Pika mumbled. Primal tried to Water Spout it, but it drank the water. “DORPY PEE MOHN LEFT ME SO FUC YOU ALL YOU’RE ALL FUC HEADS” it screamed. It charged forward towards Hau, but seeing this, Hau became Sad Hauhead and blocked the lame guzzlord with a Malasada. It ate Hau’s leg, which left him screaming and crying Malasada tears. As Sad Hauhead tried to repare his leg with Malasadas, the lame guzzlord turned it’s focus to Pika. She tried to run away, but it was somehow faster. Right as she was about to be eaten, Gladion jumped in front. He was eaten instead. The Guzzlord underwent another transformation, and this time, it got Gladion’s hair and 1/4 of the Guzzlord wasn't lame. “This sucks DORPY PEE WE ATE GLADION FUC YOU ALL YOU FUCHEDS REE I WROTE A PARENTING BOOK” the guzzlord screeched. It then took a break from eating human beings to listen to and sing Parlor Swipple’s hit new song, PEE THRILLER. When it ended, it went back to eating humans. But it saw Pika with a large sword of guzzlord hair. She threw it at the Guzzlord, and it fell over. It then fell apart in to Guzzlord, Josh Kool, N, Lusamine, and Gladion. “GLADION YOU’RE ALIVE!!!!” Pika screamed. She huggled and nuzzled him, which he usually didn’t appreciate, yet this time he did. “Say, where did you get that much of my hair?” Gladion said. There was dead silence."
Quite possibly the best thing I've read this week.
Mar 18, 2022
by
Gau
When your opponent just happens to discard Magician of Black Chaos from your hand a single turn before you draw Black Magic Ritual:
RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legends™️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs.
Mar 17, 2022
by
Gau
