hugg.exe
One day, Alpha McDannyprimal was browsing the internet when he came across a site called "www.WE HATE GROUDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.com" Curious, he clicked on it. All of a sudden, his computer was swamped with downloads and his internet shut off. Then a derpy Groudon picture appeared on his screen and the sound of baked beans being eaten blasted through his speakers despite them being unplugged. "What the hell?" he muttered to himself. He wanted to delete it, but he couldn't close the picture. He tried to turn off his computer, but it didn't work. "DOOOORPP MCDURRRRRRP I WANT TO SMOOCHETH PEELOR POOPLE" derpy Groudon 'sang'. Alpha unplugged his computer, and it finally turned off. He sighed with relief, plugged it back in, and turned it on. It seemed normal now, but when it was done loading, a box appeared on-screen. It said "hugg.exe finished downloading" or whatever, and it immediately loaded up. It looked like Pokemon Sapphire, except it crashed and reloaded. Instead of saying "Pokemon Sapphire Version", it simply said "hugg.exe". No music was playing, though it was hard to tell because his speakers were still unplugged. Alpha, thinking that this had better be good, pressed start. Instead of Professor Birch, Enneth appeared and said "958493680476409568970dorp5094357094385047360493684i84035789437503454liek583457405704385093759baked7547543905740357493beenz5498570475409759043593" "Well alrighty then." he muttered. There were three characters to choose from, but two were locked. He selected Yveltal. After a bit of static, the game started. He was in the moving truck that was seen at the beginning of the game, but he was a Yveltal. But when it opened, Groudon went inside and force-fed him baked beans. Yveltal's screams of agony could somehow be heard through the unplugged speakers, and Alpha was deeply disturbed as it returned to the character select screen. Now Yveltal was locked, and his next choice was Arceus, which was also a poorly-made sprite. This time, it started in the Pokemon League, where Steven was supposed to be. But Groudon came in and force-fed Arceus baked beans, Arceus screamed, it went back to the character select screen. Alpha's heart was pounding as he selected a really poorly-made Bidoof sprite. He started in a black abyss, and Bidoof was already dead, but Groudon still force-fed him baked beans. This time he could magically hear Groudon dorping. The screen became staticky once more, but Alpha could faintly see a derpy Groudon face with black and red eyes. After what felt like ages, the game continued. He was playing as a Kyogre. There had been no character select screen. But this time, he had control. He checked his Pokemon menu to see that he had a level 100, somehow male, Kyogre with the nickname ALPHA. He checked the Kyogre's stats. The sprite was different, looking depressed and covered in baked beans. The stats and ability were normal, but the moves were all blank. "Damn." he muttered before returning to the game. He went to the items. All he had were ten Pecha Berries and a Town Map. He checked the Town Map, and was apparently on Route 666. The whole map was just Route 666, all of it water. Alpha explored the whole Route until he came across a spot where he could Dive. Somehow, his Kyogre was able to Dive, so he did. He dove into a black abyss. Gau was there for some reason. "Uwao~! Gau hungry! Friend give food?" Then the option appeared to give him the Pecha Berries. Alpha, in his infinite meanie hatred for Gau, declined. Then Groudon appeared. Alpha lost control of his Kyogre character player thing and entered a battle between ALPHA and Groudon. Which was level 666. Alpha checked the moves, which he apparently had now: Flail, Struggle, Protect, and Call for Help. Wondering what the last move would do, he picked it.
"ALPHA used CALL FOR HELP!
...There was no answer. Odd.
GROUDON used BAKED BEANS!
It's super effective!"
Alpha gulped, as the attack had taken over a quarter of his health.
"ALPHA used PROTECT!
ALPHA protected itself!
GROUDON used DORP!
It's super effective!"
"Oh, come on, it passes through Protect?!" Alpha yelled.
"ALPHA used FLAIL!
It had no effect!
GROUDON used ANNOYING SONG!
It's super effective!
ALPHA was poisoned!
ALPHA was hurt by poison!"
Alpha quickly went to the bag to use a Pecha Berry. But when he did, he realized that Gau was in his party. He ignored it and used the Pecha Berry on his Kyogre, healing his poison.
"GROUDON used SIMP FOR PARLOR SWIPPLE!
It's super effective!"
His Kyogre's HP was in the red. He decided he'd switch to Gau and watch him faint instead. But when he tried, a text box appeared saying "Why should he help you? You didn't feed him." Alpha groaned. He briefly debated feeding Gau Pecha Berries and seeing what would happen, but decided that since he hated Gau he'd just lose.
"ALPHA used PROTECT!
ALPHA protected itself!
GROUDON used BAKED BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
It's super effective!
ALPHA fainted
ALPHA MCDANNYPRIMAL is out of usable POKéMON!
ALPHA MCDANNYPRIMAL drowned in baked beans...
Which is his own fault...
Because he had too much pride..."
Then Alpha's computer exploded.
The end. (also why is this called hugg.exe with no hugs?)
Nov 28, 2021
by
Gau
